(2 minutes reading time)
Let’s see together when the act of sharing is equivalent to an act of love and when not.
Case 1: I am agitated, I had a bad day or bad news, I feel the need to let out the emotions that afflict me. In this case the push that leads us to share our events and emotions comes from a need to “expel” that energy that makes us feel heavy, agitated, etc., etc… and the closer we feel emotionally to someone, the more we believe it is his/her duty to accept our “sharing”.
But… this is not really a real sharing, it is an outlet, it is something that allows us to free ourselves by throwing our burden on someone else, or it makes us believe to free ourselves from our burden…
Well, in my opinion in these cases a true act of love is first of all taking responsibility for our discomfort and using methods and tools of “cleaning”, perhaps looking for support in some professionals instead of in our loved ones. Because demanding the support of the friend as for granted it’s an egoistic act, due to our inability to manage our emotional balance by ourselves. Where, however, we should instead ask for support (instead of demanding).
And as we ask … magic happens! Because the act of asking for help (and being ready to accept that it could not be given) – instead of demanding it – transforms that negative energy that we want to let out into love energy: who receives the request will no longer feels “invaded”, and the natural tendency to help that we have innate since childhood will be able to express itself without “absorbing” negativity. Because when it’s love that leads it’s impossible to absorb “dirty” energy. This choice – asking for help – is even better than keeping everything inside, which is a much slower process of “clearing”.
Case 2: I had an experience that enriched me, made me feel good, given unforgettable moments, etc., etc… Well in this case, if it’s something that the whole society considers “normal”, like a nice trip or a new love, we feel equally the urge to share. And even if we don’t ask before, people will listen to us with pleasure because we are giving them positive energy! They feel it and will be all ears for us!
But… what if we have had a positive experience, maybe a personal situation that has unlocked, a deep understanding that we have been looking for long time without success… however, we got there by taking paths out of the mainstream, pathways that we perhaps fear they might be judged as a weakness or something not “normal”? Well… here we keep those experiences just for us. So: let’s ask ourselves why!
This may be the case for a successful emotional therapy: in many countries – especially the more conservative ones – the limiting belief that judge what are inner awareness paths to something “not normal”, to some state of emotional “illness”, to some weakness of which we must be ashamed is rather widespread… Ah, what a mistake! Slaves of our shame we are denying an act of sharing that could help others like us, who may be ashamed as we are to confess what they believe to be “weaknesses”, and they never told us! On the other hand, in other countries – such as in the USA – we find many more people who can’t wait to talk to us about their psychoanalyst! And they do well, if they have benefited from him!
So a true attitude of love towards our fellow human beings should force us to get out of the cage of cultural and generational conditioning. It should embrace the rule of sharing all the experiences that have in some way helped or improved our existence, not giving a damn about other people’s judgment and our self-judgment, which arises from that feeling of shame that we should never give up on! What is considered “disease” in one country is virtuosity in another: let’s remember it, always keep it in mind… and let’s walk much further, towards openness, towards sharing, towards infinity! Because sharing also what has been very “intimate”, but has also helped us a lot, is to spread Love! Like us, who have been helped and spread with love by those who have not been ashamed.
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